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Remedial Comedy-Writing for T-Shirt Companies

June 27th, 2008 · 11 Comments · Advertising, Comedy, Culture, Facebook, Science Fiction, TV

Methinks some people in the t-shirt business misunderstand the basic idea of funniness.

For example, I just got a little ad on Facebook, which claims this is “the funniest Star Trek t-shirt ever … !”

Picard t-shirt

Well, um … no. That’s not especially funny. Sure, “Make it so” was Captain Picard’s catchphrase. But there’s nothing funny about just slapping that onto a T-shirt next to his picture.

If you want a Captain Picard shirt that’s actually funny, what you do is you have him sitting in front of a sewing machine, frowning.

The caption reads: “MAKE IT SEW.”

Now that’s comedy!

If you really want to go for the gold, you could have Worf working on some needlepoint in the background, maybe.


11 Comments so far ↓

  • Aaron

    Actually, that drawing looks like it belongs on the front of a bucket of chicken…all he needs is a white suit.

    Now THAT would be–well, it still wouldn’t be funny. But it would be funnier than the T-shirt!

  • Dorchen

    When he needed to abort a command, he used to say, “Belay that order!”

    My friend Bob thought up this one: Ryker says, “I’m about to blow a fart, Captain!” Picard: “Belay that odor!”

    As for the chicken bucket, it could have him saying: Chicken. Extra-Crispy. Hot.

  • Dorchen

    Sounded funnier before I saw it in writing.

  • Ocelopotamus

    I’m laughing.

    This has the potential to be a very amusing comment thread.

  • Matt

    I miss the t-shirt shops in the 70s malls that were full of witticisms of the day:

    Free Mustache Rides!

    I’m With Stupid!

    If the Van Is Rockin’,
    Don’t Come A-Knockin’!

    ahh, good times.

  • Steve Sturm

    Hee. Worf doing needlepoint. Presumably, with Counselor Troi throwing heavy objects at him (Worf let slip in one episode that Klingon romance female Klingons throw heavy objects while the males read love poetry).

  • Aaron

    “female Klingons throw heavy objects while the males read love poetry”

    Hey, that sounds like a Joans rehearsal!

    I remember the “Free Mustache Rides” T-shirts…I even grew a mustache! And was then disappointed to find that people DON’T automatically avail themselves of the ride…

  • kev


    Your T-shirt, WAY funnier. I want that shirt, actually!

  • Grendel

    Saw one the other day. just a picture of JS Bach. Beside him, the words, “I’LL BE BACH”

  • Tifani

    After seeing this post, and being a huge TNG fan, I couldn’t help myself…http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23972439

  • Ocelopotamus

    Tifani, I just saw your comment and link above — hilarious! Thanks for bringing my humble idea to life.