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Uncertain Smile: McCain Shredded by His Own Side

June 5th, 2008 · 1 Comment · Media, News, Politics, TV, Video

Watch the Republican pundits on Faux News shred McCain’s speech from Tuesday night.

I daresay we won’t see him get within a mile of a green backdrop again.

And suddenly, I can’t wait for the debates this fall with Obama and McCain on stage together.

In the meantime, I’m dedicating my favorite The The song to John McCain’s awkward social grimace …

UPDATE: Since J-McC is obviously needing a little help in the rhetoric department, Hunter at DKos offers to help him out with some new slogans:

Compassionate Maverickism. Simple and to the point. The compassion part would serve notice that you have no actual interest in compassion and are just getting that part out of the way right off the bat, while the maverickism sounds appropriately rebellious and manly. Since you haven’t technically been a maverick in, what, a decade or two, this also would appeal nicely to the sullen longing-for-the-past that conservatism is so continually engaged in.

A Changely Leader For Nonchangelyness. I like this one because nonchangelyness is a fantastic, very Bushian word. Creative half-literacy would resonate well with the Bush base, while the dual messages of change and non-change would satisfy those that recognize the Bush years have truly sucked, but who still cringe at the thought of attempting anything even the slightest bit different. This slogan properly conveys the message of nearly every modern Republican election, which is “yes, I know we screwed things up last time. But this time will be different, because we’re going to do exactly the same thing.”

McCain: Get The Hell Off My Lawn. People have been concerned about your age and health: the only way to combat this is to respond to it directly. With a slogan like this, people will know you are still vigorous enough to care whether or not people are on your lawn. Your concern about proper lawn care will resonate with the suburban middle class. And your invocation of hell will enliven the religious base, who are very eager to know that there is some class of people, somewhere, who you are willing to consign to hell for the most petty of reasons.

… I like the second one best, but there are so many good options. Read them all here.


One Comment so far ↓

  • Aaron

    The second one was my favorite too, but I have to say the third one didn’t exactly lag in the awesomeness department, either!