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The Colbert Report: Heated Debate

May 21st, 2007 · No Comments · Climate Change, Comedy, Culture, Education, Politics, Science, TV, Video

“Professors are forcing our kids to submit to their pro-glacier agenda!”

Newsflash: Student traumatized when his university tries to make him learn things that don’t harmonize with his conservative worldview!

Fortunately, Stephen Colbert is here to make sense of the situation.

Yeah, what Stephen said! Because you should never, ever have to be taught something you don’t already believe in. For instance, when I was in first grade I firmly believed that A, B, and C were numbers and 1, 2, and 3 were letters. Unfortunately for me, I had an evil liberal teacher who forced on me the partisan political viewpoint that it was the other way around.

Well, needless to say this was traumatic and disorienting and a complete violation of my rights as a young conservative. Sure, you could argue that it also enabled me to read and to add, but I like to think those are trivial benefits compared to the loss of my deeply held faith that numbers were actually letters. And how can you set a price tag on something like that?


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