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Converting the Local Sealife to Slurry

May 10th, 2007 · 3 Comments · Chicago, Energy, Nature, Science

Aaron administers a much-deserved rhetorical thrashing to Mr. Burns’ real-life analog at a certain local power company, who thinks lethally scalding the local fish (and other aquatic life) by expelling 100-degree water into the Chicago and Lower Des Plaines rivers is the most efficient way to cool the companies’ coal-fired power plants.

This process, called “once-through cooling” was banned over 30 years ago at new power plants when it was determined that it killed fish and other wildlife, but the old power plants were “grandfathered” and not made to upgrade. (Doubtless, the legislators didn’t count on these plants lasting as long as they have.)

But it’s not all bad news, according to Bill Constantelos, Midwest Generation’s director of environmental policy. Killing all the fish in the Chicago and lower DesPlaines Rivers might be a good thing. Because it keeps Asian carp and other invasive species out.

Sure, Bill. And let’s amputate your entire leg so you won’t get plantar warts.

What Aaron said.

Read the full article to see exactly how ridiculous Bill and his friends at Midwest Generation are being. (I had never heard of Midwest Generation before, but apparently they bought these plants from ComEd a while back.)

Also: Whenever a big company is given a license to do something evil forever, it’s usually called a “grandfather clause.” Now, what does that say about the grandfathers of the world, and why don’t they take umbrage at this calumny?


3 Comments so far ↓

  • Aaron

    Thanks, Dave!

    My own grandfather would have gladly given this guy a sound ass-kickin’. (Nobody messed with his fish! Wow, that didn’t come out well, did it…?) :-)

  • jim

    all i can think about when i read this is ‘slurry (sic) with the fringe on top’
    thanks, i’ll be here all weekend…

  • Ocelopotamus

    Jim — believe it or not, that actually went through my head when I was trying to come up with the headline for this post. But I just couldn’t build that “Oklahoma –> boiled sea life” connection.